Funeral flowers are a time honored tradition of showing our love, respect, and affection both for those who have passed from this life and for those who are left behind. They are meant to be a source of comfort and beauty in a dark time in a family’s life, and can also represent the continuation of life even though a death has touched us.

Funeral Wreaths

One of the most popular of which is the wreath. Funeral wreaths and their circular design are meant to signify life and the continuity of it. Just as a wreath is an unbroken circle that goes on and on, the wreath symbolizes that life goes on for those who are left behind. For those with these kinds of beliefs, wreaths also signify that when life on Earth is ended, it goes on elsewhere. It can be a very comforting thought to the family. They are often constructed out of rosemary or laurel branches, both of which signify honor and remembrance.

Casket Arrangement

A casket arrangement is a very large bouquet that is meant to be placed on top of the funeral casket itself. If you would like to honor a lost loved one with a casket arrangement, it is best to contact the bereaved to find out if they have already arranged for this floral arrangement since space on the casket is limited. These arrangements may otherwise come to rest along entryway tables, along pews or on other flat surfaces in the funeral home.

Funeral Sprays

Funeral sprays are also meant to be displayed at the funeral home or at a gravesite service and are elegantly beautiful displays that stand on a tripod structure. They can be placed all around the funeral home or church to brighten up proceedings and bring some comfort to the bereaved. Funeral sprays can be designed with traditional flowers or customized to suit the tastes and personality of the deceased. Talk to your florist about how to best personalize your spray to reflect your love and care for the deceased.

Funeral Baskets

Funeral baskets are more like gifts for the living than memorials for the deceased. While they might be arranged beautifully, they are often full of things like chocolate, coffee, fruit or teas. They are meant to lift spirits by symbolizing the good things in life and the sender’s wishes to remember those good things even in hard or sad times.

Funeral baskets can be purchased from a favorite online retailer or put together and personalized toward the needs of the bereaved. Some families may need their spirits lifted with a basket of personal health items like teas, bath lotions and warm shawls to remind them that you wish them comfort. Others may appreciate a basket of items that display the hobbies or favorite foods, treats or colors of the deceased. These baskets let the grieving know that they are not alone in their feelings of loss; others too remember the life and love that has been lost. While flowers should usually be delivered to the funeral home, church or gravesite, funeral baskets can be sent directly to the bereaved at their residence during the time of mourning preceding a funeral service.

In the wake of tragedy, people come together to comfort, console and share. Gifts of beautiful, meaningful things like flowers and gift baskets are a traditional extension of those feelings. Talk to your florist or online funeral arrangement retailer for help finding the right sympathy gift for your lost loved one and their grieving family.

~Ben Anton, 2008

Condolence Sympathy Gifts and memorial baskets are traditionally given to the bereaved by those that love and care about them. Find food and gift baskets for the grieving at Sympathy Baskets online.

Losing someone close to us is never easy. In her 1969 book titled, “On Death and Dying”, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross lists the five stages of grief that most of us experience when we go through this situation. By learning about these stages, we can begin coping with death more effectively, knowing that each stage will bring us closer to the end of the healing process. Some people can get stuck in one of the first four stages, and need a bit of help to continue on with the process. When you understand how the process is supposed to go, you will be better equipped to recognize if you need to seek help or if you are making your way through the steps sufficiently on your own.

1. Denial and Isolation

When we first receive devastating news like the death of a loved one, our first reaction may be to deny the truth of the matter and withdraw from our friends and family. Denial and isolation can take place over a matter of months in some cases.

2. Anger

Anger is a perfectly normal method for coping with death, and is the second stage of the grieving process, according to Kubler-Ross. You may be angry with yourself for being unable to prevent the loss, angry with doctors who could not save your family member, or angry with the person who died for abandoning you and creating so much pain. Some people get angry with God because they believe He should have done something to prevent the death from occurring.

3. Bargaining

Sometimes people’s anger with God will turn into a bargaining chip. You may try to negotiate with God, promising to help others or live a better life if He will take your pain away and reverse the loss that you are experiencing.

4. Depression

The anger has faded away by now, leaving numbness and despondency in its wake. That doesn’t mean that the anger is gone for good; it may be simmering still just under the surface, where it can explode at the slightest provocation. This may be a time where you feel hopeless and unable to make plans or dream about the future. You may find yourself wallowing in feeling of self pity and an inability to enjoy the things in life that you once loved. Some people have trouble breaking out of this stage, leading them to seek professional help in coping with death.

5. Acceptance

The pain is still there, but it is easier to deal with. The sadness still exists, but you now feel somewhat optimistic that you can turn the experience into something positive. Acceptance doesn’t mean to simply grin and bear it, but to accept the loss and prepare to move forward with your life. This is the stage where true personal growth can occur.

Coping with death is one of the most challenging experiences anyone will ever have to face. These five stages are typically the process that most people will go through to deal with the loss, heal and move on with their lives.

Nathan Martyn is webmaster of The Eternal Portal, a place to create online memorials, grief support forums, articles and condolence guest books.

In the world of Internet connections and email communications, keeping in touch has become much simpler. This is even true when a loved one dies and we want to share our grief with friends and family members across the miles. Online mourning has made this possible with tools to create an online memorial of your loved one and broadcast the service across Internet connections. While it may sound strange at first to pay tribute to someone dear to us through modern technology, it truly is wonderful when hearts can come together across the globe to grieve and remember. Whether you choose to broadcast the memorial service online or set up a virtual tribute that visitors can come to, the memory of that special person can live on.

Online Funerals

We have watched numerous funerals of great people on television for decades; now we can commemorate our own family members by broadcasting the memorial service over the Internet. This is the perfect solution for friends and family members who would like to pay their respects but cannot travel to the service for whatever reason. You can hire the services of a company that will broadcast the service you plan with a local mortuary from anywhere in the world. Only those that receive the password from you will be able to view the service, to ensure that your privacy is kept secure. Some companies will also offer the option to purchase CD-ROMS of the service that you can mail to friends and family or treasure as a keepsake of your own.

Virtual Memorials

Another way to honor the memory of a loved one is to create a virtual memorial that others can go online to see and contribute to. Some companies will allow you to create a basic tribute through their business free of charge. This may include text about the person and a guestbook that others can sign. For a fee, you can add photos, a slide show and custom pages that will make your memorial unique and special. You can add a variety of backgrounds and even audio for your guests. Some sites will also offer a visitor counter so that you can keep track of how many people visit the site. Many will also provide the option of editing whenever you like to keep the tribute up to date.

Remembering Pets

When a pet dies, sometimes it is hard to know what to do to commemorate that special friend’s passing. You can also create a virtual memorial of your pet, complete with photos and text about what your companion meant to you. Many pet owners have found that simply having a way to express the grief was a key component in the healing process. Some of the websites that provide this service will also include support for those who are grieving the loss of a pet.

Losing someone you love is never easy, but now there are even more ways to keep that person’s memory alive. Whether you go online with the funeral service or create a lasting tribute virtually, memories can live on.

Nathan Martyn is webmaster of The Eternal Portal, a place to create online memorials with full multi-media, free online obituaries, forums, articles, resources for dealing with grief and condolence guest books.

When someone dies, it is important to tell those who might have known the person. This is usually done in the form of an obituary that is published in the local newspaper or on the Internet. Writing an obituary is not an easy task, since you will still be reeling from the loss of your loved one. These five tips on how to write an obituary can make the process a little easier to create an announcement that will give your family member’s memory the respect that is due.

1. Know the Limits

Some newspapers will have restrictions on the length that an obituary can be. Make sure you know what those limits are before you begin writing. That way, you will not have to worry about some unscrupulous editor cutting away your favorite account of the person’s life.

2. Get your Facts

It is amazing how many obituaries don’t include a date of birth or even the date of death! It is also important to give an accurate rundown of the family members that both predeceased the person and survive him. Don’t mix up great grandchildren and grandchildren, and get a complete count of all family members. Get the facts about where the person went to school and any accolades that should be included. Spelling also counts when writing an obituary, so use your spell check and make a point to scrutinize every family name for accuracy.

3. Make Necessary Announcements

People who find this obituary in the newspapers may want to attend the funeral service to pay their respects. Use this venue to let people know the date and location of the service. This is also the appropriate place to announce where any memorial donations can go, if applicable.

4. Make it Interesting

The last thing you want to do when writing an obituary is be perceived as flip or trite. However, an obituary is more than a statement of death; it is also an interesting account of the life that was lived. Add compelling facts like the person lived to be over 100, he served in the military or she sang soprano in the church choir. Add philanthropic activities, such as 20 years of volunteer service at the local animal shelter. Keep it short and sweet, but celebrate the life that was lived even while announcing the passing of that life.

5. Reread, Revise and Edit

An obituary is not something that should be written on the fly and sent off to the editor in a flurry. Take the time to proofread your obit and ask someone else to read it over for you as well. This is the best way to catch grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes and ensure that the piece is written in a proper voice.

Writing an obituary is never something that one looks forward to doing, but it is a part of life sometimes. If you find yourself in this situation, follow these tips on how to write an obituary that will respect the memory of your loved one beautifully.

Nathan Martyn is webmaster of The Eternal Portal, a place to create online memorials with full multi-media, free online obituaries, forums, articles, resources for dealing with grief and condolence guest books.

Funeral flowers chosen by the next of kin or close family for the top of the casket or coffin are usually diamond shaped or flowers made into the traditional shape of a cross. The size of the casket flowers are quite often dependant on the size of the coffin however, the same designs are available in varying lengths to accommodate this. Elongated sprays are traditionally made from white lilies with lush green foliage while crosses are normally composed from chrysanthemums or lisianthus, either on there own in the same colour or interspersed with other seasonal flowers. Contemporary designs using the shape of a cross using a few roses and dark green foliage may suit a younger person’s casket.

Heart shaped, circular or square design cushions are a popular choice of funeral flowers for close relatives to send. They comprise of tightly packed flowers, usually chrysanthemums or roses of the same colour with delicate edging of a complementary colour and a simple spray of coloured flowers gently placed at an angle across one corner of the cushion. In lisianthus, white is generally the predominant colour for the cushion bed while the spray can be made from any colour, deep reds and crimsons can look very tasteful. An open intertwined double heart is a popular choice for a partner of the deceased to send, it is possible for the florists to use any small delicate bloomed flower to achieve a serene effect.

Special tributes such as names or items such as footballs or angels can be made by the florist who will work with you and provide guidance and support at this emotional time. Special tributes for children in the shape of a small bear or an arrangement which is upright, such as the gates of heaven, can be made by the florist to express your thoughts at this difficult time.

Funeral flowers in the shape of a teardrop spray or sheath are made with a flat bottom to lay close to the main casket arrangement and are sent by close family members. The flowers are quite often all of the same subtle pastel shades interspersed with foliage. It is common to use white lilies or carnations in these styles of designs. A modern look can be achieved by using a few white Calla lilies laid on deep green foliage and finished with a hand tied bow also made from foliage. Sprays and sheaths can be made in a variety of sizes, it can be a nice touch if the florist incorporates the deceased favourite flower colour and type into the arrangement.

Wreaths in their classic circular design are believed to represent eternal life and never ending love, they are an excellent choice for all family members or friends to send as funeral flowers. The wreaths can be made using classic seasonal flowers packed tightly into the wreath or more exotic and contemporary designs are becoming increasingly favoured by younger people who are looking for something appealing and unusual. Circular willow frames interwoven with Steel grasses and decorated with pastel tones and pale green wispy foliage is an example of a delicate and yet stunning creation which denotes never ending devotion.

Flowers direct are UK flower delivery experts, specializing in Funeral flowers and Sympathy flowers.

They come each Sunday with their flowers and beach chairs, their photos and mementos of times now past, to sit by the beloved headstones that mark the last resting place of their warrior sons or daughters, these women of Section Sixty. Despite the fact that Arlington National Cemetery has strict regulations regarding decorating trees that stand amongst the headstones, or leaving pictures and sweet remembrances at the gravesites, these mothers leave them nonetheless, even knowing that in a week, or two, or three, they will be swept away by the ground’s caretakers, and that they will come back afterward with new pictures, new flowers, new love.

The Cemetery has become a gathering place for the tears of the mothers who have lost sons in America’s current battlegrounds, and also for the sharing of sympathy, of love, of strength, of courage. They meet each other beside the familiar gravesites, waving ‘hello’ softly to those who are now familiar to the heart, leaving alone those who seem to need their privacy – the ones who have eyes and hearts only open to one voice, one image, one heart – the heart of the one who lays in the ground.

The mothers who return week after week come with small rituals – one with a journal that she writes in, another with balloons to celebrate a birthday or anniversary, a third with a letter, a toy, or a small gift from a young child barely old enough to remember the one lost – a sister or brother who is growing up with a legend instead of a living being. These young ones do not understand death yet, and still they know what reverence is without knowing what the word means. They know enough to leave their small offerings in the hands of the mothers who convey to the headstones, messages from those beloved ones they will never know.

One mother has been coming weekly for the past three years. She is the oldest member of the Sunday group. She says, when asked about the special balloons she brought, that it is her son’s birthday, the third since his death. That she thought it would get easier three years later, but it has gotten harder, for only now is she beginning to realize the finality of it all. Only now is she feeling that he is never coming back. And as she says this to one of the other women - as they both sit and gaze at each other and at the vast sea of white headstones marking the endless rows of graves - as she says this, a tear slides down her face. Just a single tear. All of the tears of the past are now rolled into this one.

The woman she speaks to is silent. She understands silently. She nods, silently. She sits and stares at the flowers she has placed at the based of the headstone – yellow and white daisies and a few white and pink carnations tied with a florist’s bow. They speak to the heart in this sea of solemn markers. They speak of love, of remembrance, of a bond that is only truly known to a mother’s heart.

Each of the mothers of Section Sixty carries the threads of the relationship forward in the only way she knows how, by vanquishing death, by allowing, indeed, insisting, that love is stronger than death and that therefore the relationship goes on and on, as it needs to, as it must.

This tribute to love is fathomless and eternal. It is unending and deep as the ocean is deep. Through Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring, it outlives all that would deny it, all that would seek to place it in a box and put it on a shelf somewhere. Instead, these warrior mothers remain fierce in their devotion to their sons, to each other, to the life of their own hearts. They remain fierce in their determination to remember, to never forget, to never allow love’s embers to die out.

This is their endless gift, the gift that allows love to triumph over death, and they give it willingly, gladly, with an inner need that is ultimately compelling. Over and over they will give this gift until the body tires and the eyes close, and even then, the heart will still remember.

Julie Redstone is a writer, teacher, and founder of Light Omega, a spiritual teaching and healing center in Western Massachusetts. She is also the author of a number of other articles on death and dying.

This article was inspired by an NPR Morning Edition report called “Mothers Bound Together by the Cost of War” by Ari Shapiro and Jim Wildman, June 23, 2008.

Death, both to the living and to the dying, means many different things. To some extent the meaning is different from person to person but many times our thoughts are based on our religion. Each religion around the world has their own view on death, the process of dying, and what is done after death. These perspectives help those who believe make death more acceptable. Many credit their faith with helping them deal with a mortality issue and others look to their faith in order to help them understand the passing of those they love. Grief is a powerful emotion and how we deal with it may have much to do with our faith.

The Christian Perspective

The Christian grief process is generally guided by scripture from the bible because there are statements such as, “There is a time to be born, and a time to die.” This gives believers the knowledge that we all have our time. For Christians, death is a part of life and many Christians believe that it is their duty to take care of the dying as they wait for Jesus to return. Christians have a wide variety of beliefs after death, but most believe that death is just another part of the journey as we all experience eternal life so long as one believes in Jesus Christ.

The Islamic Perspective

In the Islamic faith grief is something that involves the person dying as well as those around him or her. When someone is dying in this faith it is the job of the friends and family to gather around the ill person and help them remember their commitment to God. Muslims believe that death is the will of Allah. After death the body is washed and wrapped in a shroud. There are specific prayers that are to be said and the body is to be laid on the right side facing the direction of Makkah. In the Islamic faith the family members are to pay off any debts of the deceased soon after death as they anticipate the person being judged after death and want the process to be as favorable as possible. Bereavement in this faith is often accompanied by constant prayer, charity, fasting, and pilgrimage.

The Hindu Perspective

Many people have commented over the ages that grief management seems a lot easier for the people of this faith. While this may or may not be true, it could be owed to the fact that those that practice this religion believe in the rebirth as well as the reincarnation of souls. Practitioners believe that death is simply part of the experience, and that after a time the soul will adjust and return to physical form again. There are two paths for the soul to take after death; the path of the sun and the path of the moon. Those that take the path of the sun will never return again but those that take the path of the moon will return. Many different rituals have been practiced for thousands of years and may help with the grief process.

The Buddhist Perspective

The Buddhist perspective of death is quite interesting and is said to make grief not so troublesome for those that have suffered a loss. The practitioners of this faith do not look at death as a sad event, rather the breaking apart from the material world and material that we are composed of. A Buddhist believes that the soul awakens at death. Before the death friends and family like to be with the person to help them achieve the right state of mind as they go into death. One needs to think of death as their rebirth into another, and perhaps greater, realm than the human world can offer.

The Jewish Perspective

Not unlike Christians, those that are Jewish tend to view death as a natural experience. Many Jewish people believe that death gives life more meaning and that because we know we all must die sometime, we should spend each day living the more pure and ethical life possible. Unlike a lot of faiths, Judaism is a bit different in that they don’t believe that all believers will simply go to Heaven or Hell based on their belief or lack thereof. Instead, each individual will be judged on their ethical behavior during life. For this reason, Jewish people view death as natural but their final judgment by God.

Religious Perspective and Grief Management

As you can see, each religion has their own take on death and this perspective is often what gives people the ability to get through the loss of their loved ones and still have a zest for life. While religion may help to comfort those that are left behind after death, it does not mean that the loss of a loved one will be easy. Grief, no matter what faith you believe in, is a very real and necessary part of the death experience for those who are still living. Strive to comfort yourself with faith based knowledge, but also allow yourself to get depression and grief counseling if you feel you need it, or simply surround yourself with supportive people. You can learn more about the grief process and how others deal with death by visiting GriefManagement.

Mike Vines, in association with GriefManagement.org and GriefManagement.org Forums, seeks to provide a safe and congenial home to those suffering from grief, along with the hope and understanding from a community of concerned individuals willing to share their own experiences to help others through the difficulties of life.

Having someone that you love commit suicide is one of the most painful human experiences imaginable. It is a sort of grief that is hard to imagine unless you are aware of the victim’s circumstances or know them personally. Even if you have experienced the loss of many other loved ones, even through tragic circumstances, dealing with the grief of someone who is gone because they took their own life is so much different. Regardless of your age or your gender, or that of the person who has passed away, dealing with suicide is never easy. It is a grief that seems more personal than any other kind, and leaves us wondering, sometimes for the rest of our lives, the true cause of their final act of desperation.

A Different Kind of Grief

Dealing with the loss of a loved one whose death was a result of suicide is very challenging. In addition to the immense feelings of loss and sadness you may also be experiencing shock, blame, anger, and trouble understanding what went wrong. A suicide is usually an unexpected death, so it is hard dealing with all of these feelings at the same time. Many people have described the grief process of someone who died of suicide as a terrible roller coaster that just won’t end.

There are many feelings that come with the death of someone that you love in this manner. Some of the feelings that are experienced are guilt, blame, anger, shame, confusion, relief, despair, betrayal, and of course abandonment. This mix of emotions is understandably overwhelming and as a result the grieving individual may feel that they are very disconnected from the person who has passed away as well as those that are still living.

Many people who are grieving after a suicide become obsessed with the need to understand the person’s reasons for their action. This can be an overwhelming need, and one that can never be fulfilled. Because of this, there may be a huge sense of responsibility for the death. Other people get angry and feel as though the deceased went about the suicide as a hateful act; to get back at them for something.

The Stigma Attached with Suicide

The stigma attached with suicide truly does affect the mourning process, more so than a lot of people realize. There are many cultural taboos and religious beliefs attached to suicide that can lead one to be unfairly judged by friends when they really need them the most. Many people avoid the subject of suicide altogether, not ever allowing themselves the time to deal with the grief that they are feeling. The stigma attached to suicide really does leave a lot of people feeling very isolated and stressed out which can make the grief process all the more difficult, and may leave some at risk for suicide or suicidal ideation themselves.

You’re Not Alone

When you are coping with the loss of someone that you love and you are dealing with the mix of emotions and the compounded grief experienced by those touched by suicide, you should know that you are not alone. Annually there are 10 to 20 million people who attempt to commit suicide, and they are people of all ages, races, and social status. In fact, one in four people know someone who has passed away through this means. Men over the age of 70 are more likely to commit suicide though it is seen in people of all ages from the very young to the very old.

Coping with Your Loss

Are you struggling with the loss of someone who died through the act of suicide? It can be very difficult but you need to remember that you are not alone. Coping with the loss is something that everyone does differently, but there are some things that you can do to help yourself move through the grief process. First and foremost, you need to acknowledge the suicide even though it may be against your religious or cultural belief. Next, you should recognize your feelings and the loss that you have experienced. Be sure to talk openly with your friends and family members about your grief, reaching out to your friends.

Many people find that support groups specifically for those that have been affected by suicide are very helpful. There are groups of this type for every age group, so you’ll be sure to find one where you fit right in. Also give yourself permission to struggle with birthdays and anniversaries that are tied to the deceased, as these can be the most difficult times during the year. Try creating or perpetuating a familiar routine that will honor the person that you loved, and their life.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one through suicide is difficult and if you are struggling and just need to talk to someone there is always someone you can reach out to. Even if you don’t feel like you can talk to your friends and you don’t want to burden your family members, there are still other resources. Visit Befrienders Worldwide and you’ll find that there are plenty of people that can help you through this very difficult time. And don’t forget the GriefManagement Forums where a community of folks just like you is willing to share their experiences and offer the support you need.

Mike Vines, in association with GriefManagement.org and GriefManagement.org Forums, seeks to provide a safe and congenial home to those suffering from grief, along with the hope and understanding from a community of concerned individuals willing to share their own experiences to help others through the difficulties of life.