Archive for the 'Marriage' Category

Wedding Attendants: Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Bridesmaids are a group of ladies who accompany the bride throughout the wedding. The selection of bridesmaids can be done from family members, friends to colleagues. To be chosen as one of the bride’s maid is an honor. Traditionally, attendants such as bridesmaids, maid of honor, groomsmen, best man and others pay for their own apparels. Their chosen outfit should be same in fabrics, as well as the colors. They should give a joint gift to the couple, for a group gift pooling money can be a great idea. The bride’s attendants may host a shower party for the bride. They should be excused, however, from providing shower gifts.

Giving shower gifts has been part of our tradition. In our ancient culture, Dowry is required to be given to the bride at the time of the wedding. But sometimes, parents don’t have enough wealth to give to the girl. In some cases, when a girl marries of against the will of her parents, she was denied anything from her parents. In this situation, friends come to help the girl and a party is organized where all the guests have to bring something which may include household items that can be very useful in their new home.

Typically, the maid of honor and bridesmaids are joining their forces to help the bride in pre-wedding preparations. They can help the bride set schedules for dress fittings or wedding day dressing arrangements. Also, they have to be present for any pre-wedding photographs. They are the ones who help the bride select accessories and ensembles for the rest of attendants. Group decision will ensure the bride that everyone is pleased with the final choice. At the ceremony, on of the bridesmaids will hold the bride’s bouquet. She has to arrange veil and costume too. The maid of honor can also sign the register as a witness of the ceremony.

The maid of honor and the best man are responsible of ensuring that all gifts are stored or removed from the hall after the ceremony. If the couple will immediately leave for their honeymoon, then the bridesmaids have to take care of her belongings and presents then transport them to the place which has been made by the bride. Also, she can take the bride’s gown to the cleaner especially after the wedding.

Likewise with the groom’s side. His groomsmen will take care and assist him in everything. They can help in his dressing. Traditionally, these guys have to pay any type of expenses from their own pockets. They can arrange their apparels together so that the fabrics and colors of all the men are the same.

Any traveling expenses can also be pulled together. Groom’s attendants should make themselves available for the pre-wedding preparations, particularly during photo-shooting. In the reception, they can assist the guest in making them seated, as well as guiding them towards the parking lot.

They can also perform a number of pivotal duties. For the best man, included in his duty is holding the rings during the ceremony. The groomsmen, however, should take care of groom’s outfits after the party. They can assist the bride’s attendants in assembling the gifts as well.

These people are truly vital in any wedding. There support and effort are priceless, thus they deserve something from the couple. The bride and groom should be very thankful for having their attendant’s presence, so they want to prepare groomsmen, best man, maid of honor and bridesmaids thank you gifts. For males, engraved flasks, pocket knives and cigar accessories are very popular. While personalized handbags, jewelry gifts, engraved compact mirrors, and custom shirts are popular gifts for attendants.

Jnet is an author for a variety of lifestyle issues and topics. For more information on bridesmaids gifts, visit the website Mybridesmaidsgifts.com and browse their extensive collection. Get a cool bridesmaids key rings for your bridesmaids!

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Wedding Idea: Plan Your Wedding Day Well

When you are planning a wedding, there is no doubt that you will be facing lots of things to do, and most often pressures. Once you have decided to get married, you need to prepare yourself for a tremendous list of task that you will need to accomplish. These include deciding for the wedding venue, wedding cake, guest list and other essential details that a typical wedding should have. However, it will be less stressful if you really plan everything well.

As you are definitely sure of getting married, the very first thing you need to do is to settle the wedding day. It may seem to be as easy as choosing the date and venue of the wedding. But in reality, this is in fact not as easy as you think it should be. There are several issues that needs to be considered.

First, the wedding day should be convenient for you and your partner. It will be better if it falls on a Saturday since most guests will have holiday on Sundays. A wedding on a Saturday can let the guests to enjoy the celebration until very late at night. Also, consider to schedule your wedding date that shouldn’t be crashing with public holidays or festivals. Though is may be very romantic for you and your partner to have your wedding on the Christmas eve but problems are most likely to occur.

If for instance you are in Hong Kong, you will need to take even more care about your wedding day. Traditionally, no one will get marry in July of the Chinese calendar because this month is the month of ghost and death for Chinese. Getting married in this month will render bad fortune not only to the couple but to their guests as well. Except July, you should also avoid having your wedding on festivals such as the Chinese New Year, this is if you are in Hong Kong.

After you have decide on your wedding date, next is you have to decide what kind of wedding you would like to have. Having a beach wedding will be different from a wedding reception in a hotel. The choice can be very personal but you will need to plan it ahead of time, as it will greatly affect your choice for other items needed in your wedding.

For instance, you choose to have a beach wedding, it may require you and your guests to walk on the beach bare foot. You will need to inform your guests about that. Since it is a beach wedding and it is most likely an outdoor celebration, you should could consider not to choose an ice-cream wedding cake as it easily melt in an outdoor environment unless it is a winter beach wedding, which is often not the case.

Moreover, you will need to define your budget. This will not only require you to define the total budget but to breakdown the it for each wedding item as well. Consider asking wedding vendors if the price will change when the specifications are different from what you originally ask for. This idea will help to prevent you fro paying for something you do not plan to pay for. Some of the elements you will need decide the budget on are the menu, wedding and reception venue, photography, invitations, gown and dresses, wedding cake, hiring a wedding planner (if needed) and also honeymoon.

When the budget is concerned, you should approach as many shops as possible to get an idea of the prices for you wedding ornaments, wedding favors, wedding gifts, wedding flowers, etc . Certainly a wedding planner will charge you for the service but at the same time he or she can help you to save time and money on other items.

Jnet is an author for a variety of lifestyle issues and topics including weddings. If you’re looking for a bridesmaid gift, visit the website Americanbridal.com and get some ideas. Get unique wedding favors to make your wedding extra special!

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The Disadvantages of a Beach Wedding

There is no doubt that beach weddings become more popular these days. One of the reasons is that planning for such an event usually requires the couple to spend less money than planning for a traditional one. This of course make beach wedding a very attractive option. Besides, the event can be less formal. People always say that the guests, as well as the couple, can run on the beach without wearing shoes. Of course there are some guests who would prefer a less formal event and this will be a perfect choice.

From the above, you will probably know that there are a lot of advantages associated with a beach wedding. Without any surprise, there will also be some disadvantages, and we will try to discuss all these advantages in this article.

The first problem associated with a beach wedding is the weather. In fact, the weather will affect all kinds of outdoor weddings. You have to consider it carefully. Of course there will not be problem if it is a sunny day. However, no one can guarantee this. It may rain heavily on your wedding day. And this will certainly affect your plan adversely.

As a result, couples will need to consider what they should do in case it rains. One of the ways is to find a venue which can provide an indoor space as well. In this case the wedding can be held in the indoor space. If it is not raining heavily, some kind of shelters will do the job very well. They can help to protect the guests from the extreme weather.

The rain is not the only thing you need to worry about. The wind can also affect your wedding planning. It can be very windy on the beach. It can blow the sand on the beach. If things such as your food are not covered well, they will eventually covered by sand. This can also affect your photographer because sand can be an enemy of the cameras.

You will need to cover the food well in order to protect them before being served to the guests. This is very important. A wedding without food will never be a good one. You will also need to advise your photographer about the issues of sand so that the photographer can take the precautions. This will help to make sure that there will not be any problem about your wedding photos.

In fact, you will cover the food not only because of the sand. You can also protect the food from bugs. There can be some bugs on the beach. You will need to prepare some king of insect repellents so that you can use them to help to protect your guests from bugs.

The safety issue can also be a disadvantage. You will tend to think that the beach will not be something dangerous. However, it may still be dangerous for the elderly to walk on the beach. You will need to take extra care about that in order to ensure that there will not be any danger.

TM Lung designs Chinese Wedding Invitations. He has sites on Wedding Tips and Wedding Planning.

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Three Keys to Writing Flawless Wedding Speeches

You’ve been helping for months to get the bride and groom ready for the big day. You’ve attended fittings and tastings and showers and parties. But have you prepared for the big speech you’ll have to give at the reception? Does it make you sick just thinking about speaking in front of so many people? Well it shouldn’t. Wedding speeches are a cinch if you know what to do.

Fact: seventy-five percent of all Americans suffer from a fear of public speaking. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. You can use the tactics the pros use to overcome their fear of public speaking and apply it to wedding speeches.

Be Prepared

Write your wedding speech a full 3 weeks in advance. To get yourself jumpstarted, think about your relationship with the bride and groom. Ask yourself some basic questions.

- Where did you first meet the bride or groom?

- What made you realize these people were an important part of your life?

- What makes their relationship special?

Jot these notes down. Then look for inspiration in the form of a famous quote, song lyric or poem. A site like famousquotes.com is a good place to start.

If you aren’t a writer, get some help. There are terrific guides you can download that will walk you through step by step on the dynamics of writing a wedding speech. Check out a site like wedding-speeches-2-go.com for more information on a wedding speech guide.

Practice

The worst thing you can do is wing it. Unless you are some kind of phenomenal speaker, you need to practice…in front of an audience. Then in front of a mirror. Get to the point where you are comfortable with the wedding speech.

Memorize the speech if you can, or at least practice enough that you do not have to read directly from a piece of paper. The speech will sound better and more sincere if you are relaxed and comfortable during delivery. Which means, practice, practice, practice. Reading from a script will sound like you are…well…reading from a script.

Know Your Audience

In most cases, guests at a wedding reception are people that know you, care about you, and want you to succeed. Don’t be afraid. Talk to them like you would talk to them in a conversation. They are your friends, not your enemies. But remember to follow a few common sense rules while giving wedding speeches.

- Use appropriate language. This isn’t a bachelor party. Eliminate the potty mouth.

- Don’t embarrass either the bride or the groom. Things that may have been hysterical to you might not be funny to them or their families. Paint them in a flattering light. It’s their day, not yours.

- Don’t bring up the exes. This should go without saying.

Remember, giving a wedding speech is a great gift you can give to the bride and groom. This is an opportunity for them to hear how much they mean to you. So, follow the suggestions above, get help if you need it. But, overall, have fun and don’t be afraid to give wedding speeches.

Cherie Stirewalt has been in more weddings than she can count. Download your guide to writing wedding speeches today!

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How to Choose the Best Wedding Photographer

When looking for a wedding photographer, there are three terms you are very likely to hear: 35mm, medium format and digital. These are the main types of cameras used for shooting weddings. Wedding photographers are still arguing about which of them is best. This article is aimed to provide you with some information on each type.

Medium format

For a long while this has been the absolute best option for shooting weddings and the very first sign to recognize a professional wedding photographer. The size of the film is three times larger than that of a 35mm negative, resulting in high resolution photos that can be beautifully enlarged. However, the camera and processing costs are quite expensive. The main advantage is the high resolution of negatives. Disadvantages include: high operating expenses - so high that many wedding photography album companies advise the photographer to limit the number of photos he takes; the film can be lost or destroyed during processing; slower to operate.

35mm cameras

These cameras used to have a bad reputation for producing low quality enlargements compared to the ones talked about before. However, the quality has been significantly improved during the last few years and now these cameras are successfully used by many photographers, especially those shooting thousands of photos at a wedding. Main advantages: fast - easy to operate, focus and shoot; significantly improved quality of enlargements - most people can hardly tell the difference between a medium format and a 35mm. Disadvantages: increasing costs for processing the film; the film can again be damaged or lost.

Digital cameras

Using digital cameras for shooting weddings has been a viable alternative for eight years now. The technology has evolved so much that it rivals and even beats that of medium format cameras. In fact, many wedding photographers that used medium format have switched to digital. Advantages: the possibility to review the photos immediately; cutting the costs of film and processing (though this may be offset by the high amount of time spent to process the images on the computer); higher control on the final result - a rotation or cropping is much quicker and easier than with film. Disadvantages: the technology is rapidly evolving and is hard to keep updated (though this does not necessarily affect the consumer); memory cards can be easily lost compared to films (ask the photographer how he makes sure that the photos arrive safely at the studio).

All in all, any of these formats can produce great results. Many photographers use several types of cameras during a wedding. For example, they use a medium format camera for the formals and switch to 35mm for the ceremony and reception. Or they can mainly use a digital camera but bring along a film camera as a backup. The most important thing is to ask the photographer to show you some enlargements made with the same camera that will be used for your wedding. If you like the colors and quality then it is a good choice.

Mr. D has been writing on photo resizer software applications at Reshade. Reshade is specialized in online photo resizing and makes available a free online image resizing application. As a plus it provides a picture resizing application.

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Can a Wedding Planner Help

Wedding planning is a time consuming job. On one hand, you will still have to work everyday and it will not be possible for you to become a full time planner for your own wedding. On the other hand, there are a lot of details in your wedding and you may not have experience on all these items and issues. Wedding planning can even be stressful when there are a lot of contradictory suggestions from your friends and family members. To this end, some couples will consider hiring a wedding planner to help them.

The first thing you need to consider when you are planing for your wedding is the wedding invitations. Of course it is assumed here that you have already fixed your wedding date and venue. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of items associated with your wedding invitations. You may need to send a save the date card some time before. You may also need to include a RSVP card when you send your wedding invitation. You will also need to handle the responses from your guests so that you will know the final number guests who will attend. It can be a time consuming and difficult job. Yet a wedding planner can help you to take care this so that you do not need to worry about how to handle the responses from the guests.

The wedding photography is another important item you need to take care of. Do you think there will be couples who think that they do not need to hire a photographer in their wedding? The answer is certainly a NO. The first thing you need to consider is probably the style of the photographer apart from the fee the photographer charges. However, it is also very true that it will take you a lot of time to search for a really good photographer. And this is how the wedding planner can help. The planner can give you some ideas on the photographers when you tell him / her your needs.

The wedding planner can also help when you are searching for your wedding dress. There is no doubt that the wedding dress is the most important in a sense the you will be wearing it on your wedding. This gives you a good reason to spend the time and money to search for the most perfect one. Again, it can require you to spend a lot of time in order to find your perfect one. However, the wedding planner may have some ideas on the kind of bridal shops you may approach. This will help you to save a lot of time when you are searching for your wedding dress.

From the above, you may probably know that a wedding planner can help you to save time when you are planning for your big day. In fact, the planner can also help you to save money. This is because they will know a lot of wedding vendors and they will also know the prices of the wedding items. To this end they may help you to compare the prices. Of course in some cases they may even be able to get some discount from the vendors!

TM Lung designs Unique Wedding Invitations. He has sites on Wedding Vendor Directory and Marriage Wedding Planning.

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The Relationship Between Madonna’s Divorce and Sandwiched Boomers

As a Sandwiched Boomer with changing family responsibilities, you have the toughest of balancing acts - attending to kids, parents and personal needs while still nurturing your marriage. You may envy celebrities like Madonna who seem to have it all - a personality that draws people in, the adoration of fans, an exciting life and strong feelings of omnipotence. However, this can be a mixed blessing, resulting in life experiences that are far more seductive than the ordinary routine of a partnership - even if you are married to Guy Ritchie.

Can you relate to the possibility of a deteriorating relationship? While you were busy and preoccupied with growing children and aging parents, your marriage may have taken a back seat to the goings-on in your hectic household. And for the first time in years - without the buffer of family, now that your children are on their own - you realize that you and your partner have grown apart. Instead of considering divorce like so many superstars, now is the time to realize that your marriage can have a second chance. What follows are some tips to help you reconnect with your partner and reignite the spark:

1. More concentrated time together has many benefits. Even though it may cause long term problems in the marriage to surface, you can use this opportunity to finally deal with them. Marital issues are difficult to face head-on, but the rewards can be more honesty, a renewed sense of trust and greater intimacy. This may be the time to go on that couples’ retreat or marriage enrichment weekend you’ve heard so much about.

2. Give your relationship the gift of time. Create moments of calm and pleasure in celebration of your relationship. Feel more treasured as you watch the dividends of your long term emotional investment grow.

3. Invite your partner to set aside an afternoon to spend together. Plan an activity that you’ll enjoy: rent a bicycle built for two, leave work early and meet at a museum, enjoy a picnic lunch at the park. Take a long cut. Stretch out the event itself and make it last.

4. Create a romantic and intimate evening at home. This has likely been on your ‘to do’ list for a long time, so here’s your chance to make it happen, time and again. Turn on soft music, build a fire, light the candles. Cook a gourmet dinner together and share that bottle of wine you’ve been saving for a special occasion.

5. Decide to explore a new area of interest together. It could mean taking a cinema class at the local community college, becoming more active in your local government, writing your memoirs to pass down through the generations, taking ballroom dancing lessons. Discovering fields that are new to you both allows each of you to enjoy the process without being critical or competitive. You can laugh at your errors as you learn together.

Perhaps you think that infusing a marriage with renewed commitment sounds boring, compared to the antics of pop idols with pizzazz and charm. Yet in our celebrity-obsessed culture, know that there is real value in working on your marriage. Although it will include making hard choices - like listening to your partner’s point of view, going straight home, saying you’re sorry - you’ll be glad you did.

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The Complexity of Stepfamily Marriage

It is estimated that stepfamilies will be the majority of family types early in the 21st century. This means most families will have the experience of being built from losses and of having a mixture of biologically related and non-biologically related members. It often means serious conflicts from past relationships intrude upon the current family life and legally required financial commitments drain the family’s resources. But statistics don’t convey the complexity of life within a stepfamily and, especially, the strain it places on the marriage.

Darlene and Jake. This was the second marriage for both Darlene and Jake. Darlene had no children from her first marriage. Jake had two adolescent children and a high conflict relationship with his first wife. Darlene was in her mid-30s at the time of this marriage, so they quickly had a child of their own. That led to a decision for Darlene to reduce her job to half time until their daughter was going to start school. But Jake had major financial responsibilities to his two sons, one of whom was starting college. It placed considerable strain on their finances.

But money was only a small part of the tension. Jake was embroiled in a chronic conflict with his former wife, particularly accusing her of trying to sabotage his relationship with his sons. They were told many negative stories about their father including accusations that he had cheated on their mother, was hiding income and not giving enough to the boys, and not being a caring parent (e.g., when he didn’t show up at an activity). Jake said these were lies but his efforts to talk to the boys and see them was constantly thwarted by their mother. This process sometimes resulted in months going by when the boys would not want anything to do with him, causing Jake incredible pain.

The impact on the marriage. Darlene knew about these issues but was still emotionally unprepared for the experience. She frequently perceived herself as not being the primary relationship in Jake’s life because he would put so much time and energy into trying to resurrect and maintain a relationship with his sons. Even Jake’s first wife took up so much of his attention that Darlene would end up feeling like she was fourth on Jake’s list of priorities (fifth when she added his job to the list). Darlene’s reaction was complicated by the fact that she had not been a parent until recently and had difficulty understanding the pain Jake was enduring. She often was angry that he seemed conciliatory and kept urging him to take tougher stands. But Jake insisted this only escalated the conflict and typically resulted in less contact with his boys.

Darlene had come to dislike the boys because of how they treated Jake and affected her life. She didn’t want to spend time with them, putting Jake into a no-win position by often having to appear to choose between his wife and his children. At the same time, Darlene frequently ended up doing things for the boys and felt that neither they nor Jake showed much appreciation for her “sacrifices.”

Jake was constantly feeling trapped and had clearly become depressed. His depression, in typical male form, showed primarily as anger. He became an increasingly unpleasant person to live with. Jake felt that no matter what he did someone was always mad at him. He particularly felt that his wife was not understanding or supportive.

What’s wrong with us? Jake and Darlene had lost touch with all the reasons that led them to marriage. Common interests, having fun together, and being able to talk like old friends from the moment they met had been the cornerstones of their relationship. But much of this was quickly lost in the complexity of the difficult stepfamily challenges. They were trapped by their pattern of seeing all these problems as the “fault” of the other. One of the first steps to positive change was to learn how common these issues were and to stop interpreting everything as a statement about their marriage. They joined the Stepfamily Association of America. This gave them access to recommended readings, and a local chapter. They attend workshops and met many couples going through the same process. They quickly learned that their problems were quite common and began to be less critical of each other’s behavior.

Solutions in these situations are often not matters of changing what is being done but of how it is being perceived. Jake cannot change his ex-wife’s behavior. He cannot change the court-dictated financial responsibilities. He has limited influence over the lives of his sons. The challenge for Jake and Darlene is two-fold: learn to be more supportive on the issues that cannot be changed; focus energy on making changes that will strengthen the current marriage.

One couple’s solution. Darlene and Jake decided to seek professional advice because they were so stuck in their patterns of marital interaction that they had lost the capacity to communicate without anger and blame. Marital therapy complimented their experience with the Stepfamily Association. Jake was able to see that he was so consumed by his issues from the first marriage that he wasn’t investing enough in his current marriage. He realized he was expecting Darlene to be supportive when her own needs weren’t being met and without the personal experience to truly understand these issues. He learned that he would actually have a better chance to salvage his relationship with his sons if he put more effort into his relationship with Darlene. That’s because once Darlene felt that she was really the most important person to Jake she not only could be more supportive to him but also could give more to the boys.

In fact, for the first time, when the boys came to visit, they actually experienced a sense of being part of a family, something they hadn’t experienced since their parents’ divorced. This proved to be a very powerful influence, especially since, unknown to Jake, they had interpreted his new marriage, and especially his new child, as an indication that they weren’t so important to their father anymore. There’s a moral here: everyone resists the intimacy of relationships because of the fear of the pain from losing those relationships. This is especially true for people who have experienced divorce because that pain is real and they don’t want to go through it again.

For Darlene, therapy helped her to realize that she had a particularly strong tendency to expect to be hurt in a close relationship because her father had died when she was young. She learned that even though she had loved Jake, she was always expecting to lose him. It took an extra dose of risk on her part to be really committed to this marriage, especially when Jake, in fact, had been so distracted by his issues. Jake’s increased awareness of this also helped him to be appreciative of how hard all this was for Darlene. He had been so absorbed in his problems that he had not given equal weight to his wife’s distress. In fact, he had continually failed to understand what she even had to be upset about.

But now things had changed. Progress came from making more time for their marriage, understanding the normalcy of their issues, and by rebuilding their ability to trust another person’s love, a trust that had been damaged even before they got married. Darlene and Jake were well on their way to a much happier marriage even though some of the stressful realities were still present.

Dr. Heller is a clinical psychologist, now retired, who specialized in providing services to children, families, and couples since 1968. He has written over 170 columns about parenting and marriage which are available on his website, http://www.drheller.com.

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