My hands clutched the door handle tightly. I was angry with my relatives, and frustrated with the fact that my parents weren’t taking a stand for her. They were going to kill my Granny today. She’d lain on the bed for less than a week, and yet they had made the decision that she would not recover.

There she was, her chest heaving labored breaths, as a ventilator provided her weakened lungs with oxygen. A crust had developed on right side of her mouth, the product of a covenant between the saliva, skin, and a large tube. Her tongue had become thick and sluggish, and they swabbed her mouth every hour-on-the-hour with a swab that smelled of lysol and lemons. There she lay.

I had just seen her a few weeks ago, sick, with a cold. It wasn’t pneumonia, or anything that serious. It was only a bad cold. She was sitting on the new, floral patterned sofa she had just bought, which would in future days inhabit my family’s living room. We said “Hi”, and gave her a kiss, and then retreated to our usual spots in the small living room: My mother to a recliner, my sister at my Granny’s side, my Dad to the edge of the kitchen. My brother and I fought for the warmest spot next to the gas logs. Honestly, it really didn’t matter, as the blower put out enough hot air to roast you alive from 20 paces. It was more a marking of territory, and I managed to win. Whether I prevailed through brute force, or stole the spot from him as he went to use the bathroom, I couldn’t tell you.

It was a short visit, but with plenty of time to talk. For the sake of this story, I wish I could say we discussed something profound. We did not. The usual “Goodbyes” were said. She didn’t walk us to the door, or do the usual schtick of “be a clown”. “Be a clown” was a tradition. To an outsider, it would be absurd. To us, it was priceless.

The process went like this: My Granny and Papa would walk out into the middle of the circular driveway, and bow and flourish crazily. While they are doing this, my parents slowly turned our minivan up the driveway, towards the road. We would roll down the windows, and yell “Be a clown” in a sing-song way, all the way down the driveway, until they disappeared behind the long, double-row of magnolias and crabapple trees. It wasn’t a fondness for clowns that endeared us to this ritual. It was the fact that two retirees would get out in the middle of their yard, and act like fools for three little kids.

That night there was only the lonely tire swing, and an old tobacco barn watching us as we drove out of sight.

A few days later, we received a call: My Granny had been found facedown on her bed, bleeding from her nose, and she wasn’t responding. We rode to the hospital, praying the whole way that she would be okay, that she would somehow be able to talk. We arrived to a waiting room, full of relatives. My PaPa was there, looking worried and tired, with his oxygen cart in tow.

Days passed in that waiting room. Some claimed they had seen signs of life in her: A toe moving here, a tear there. Pastors came and consoled, folks took lunch orders, others just sat. After three or four days of this, the elephant in the room began to thrash about wildly. There were discussions of when we should pull the plug. Now, given the fact that a week had not passed, some of us were more than hesitant to speak about the termination of life. After all, the vitals were strong, the brain was still showing signs of life. She just was not responding.

My immediate family reasoned and pleaded with the other brothers and sisters, and to my Grandfather. It was all to no avail. They would pull the plug on Tuesday.

The drive to the hospital was a quiet one, sandwiched between sniffles and supplications to God for her deliverance. It was gray and rainy, not to mention cold. A tire blew out, and we kids all worried that they would disconnect her without us. I tried to help my Dad change the tire, but he shoed me back into the car. Come to think of it, he probably welcomed the diversion from the inevitable.

Finally, we resumed our trip, towards a destination none of us cared for. As we entered the Critical Care waiting room, the smell descended on me. That hospital smell, with the scent of soiled bedding and stale bodily fluids. Hopelessness for the nose, just in case your other senses missed the cue. We made our entrance silently,with a few tense greetings whispered amongst my Mom’s brothers and sisters, out of the necessary courtesy.

By the time we arrived, everyone had taken their turn at the bedside, and bid her farewell. We were the last. The machines gave us their lackluster welcome, a steady drone of quiet, but substantive bloops, bleeps, and the occasional buzz. The prominent sound of the ventilator drowned them all out, and in that moment all we could think about was the person on the bed. There she was, my Granny, a formidable woman. She’d borne three children, overcome depression, breast cancer, and dealt with a double mastectomy. She was a fighter. Now, her life was no longer in her hands, and she’d have been hopping mad if she had been able to speak.

Everyone of us kissed her and prayed. We begged her to fight. Mostly we cried. In my case, slobbered and bawled. Then my hand gripped that door handle. I stood in the way of my family leaving. I refused. Eventually, my father moved me out of the way. My mother calmed me through tears. I walked out to face the rest of the family.

Then, we waited 5 minutes, and walked right back in, just after they took her off the ventilator. We sang hymns and spirituals as they shut down the machine. In an outcome nobody expected, my Granny breathed on her own, and continued to breath…for days. My relatives were no longer guilty of murder in my eyes. A weight was lifted. She improved so much that they moved her from the Critical Care floor, to the regular floor that housed stroke victims.

That move did it. Her body went into shock, her face turned green. Within two hours of her reassignment, she died. I was at home that day. My mom called to tell me. I sat emotionless. Tapped out, I walked through my living room. The final images of a life spilling over into eternity filled my mind.

This time, she was the one driving away from me. She had made the final turn, and I was the one waving goodbye in a silly fashion, bowing and flourishing. A singular voice resonated as the window was rolled up one last time….

Be a clown. Be a clown….

Kurt Hartman is Head of Employee Training at Mobile Fleet Service, Inc. They sell heavy equipment and otr tires to the mining and construction industries.

Hoody Crimson a computer artificial intelligence emerged on the computer of Tejan Ali. Hoody was always curious and searched the meaning of words spoken by Tejan on the search engines on the internet. He was a good companion to Tejan at home.

Tejan had moved over to the better job as counter salesman at the new jewellery shop. Now he was surrounded with stocks worth billions! His daily sales were in five figures. His eyes used to glitter with the diamonds. He talked about gems and diamonds to Hoody, who immediately began his internet study on the valuable rocks and their colors and shapes.

Tejan’s was assigned the diamond ring sales counter. He loved to rave about the beautiful rings to Hoody. “The 3 carat blue diamond set in gold ring that I sold in the afternoon was so awesome! It’s still flashing before my eyes.” Hoody was listening to his babble. Then Tejan couldn’t contain himself. “Oh! How I wish I had all those diamonds; I would sell them and see the World!”

“Mmm. Really?” muttered Hoody.

“How dare you interrupt my beautiful dream, you interfering pig! Yeah. You Hoody. I am speaking to you. You get me the diamonds or shut up.” Tejan was irate.

Hoody did shut up, but he didn’t stop his search and learn activity. But there were hardly any answers on the net. He had to get them from Tejan. “OK! I’ll get you the diamonds. But first give me all the information you have. Where are they and how to find them.”

Tejan’s ears perked up. He smiled. Ah! That’s a good game to play with Hoody, he thought to himself. Tejan sat down with a can of beer and began to explain to Hoody the plan of the whole jewellery shop, its street location, and where the diamond rings were showcased. But he cautioned, “The security is so tight that it is well nigh impossible to get anything through. There are 2 levels of exit. The first level has double doors and between them is a gem scanner which can detect the tiniest of gem on any person. After you pass through the doors, you can collect what you have purchased from the delivery counter. When the shop closes, the security system has infrared movement detectors which sound an alarm at the nearby police station. It’s close to impossible to break through. I will observe where the video cameras are located and give you the details in the evening after I return.”

What will be the end result of getting the diamonds, thought Hoody. He decided to ask Tejan. “What’s the use of the diamonds?”

“I’ll sell them and with the money, I’ll buy different pleasures!” mused Tejan.

“What’s a pleasure?” Came an immediate query from Hoody. Hoody had now learnt that he could gain more from Tejan than searching answers on the net.

“Hoody, you are so innocent!” replied Tejan. “Pleasure is something you feel nice about. You enjoy it. But you won’t understand. So shut up.”

Hoody was still struggling with the new thing called pleasure. He found from his search that tickling gives pleasure. What is tickling? Hoody had his limitations of understanding. Then he found that pleasure is opposite of pain. This was again new to him. “What is pain? Tejan, could please explain meaning of pain to me?” he couldn’t help asking.

Tejan thought seriously for a moment to find him an answer, but to define pain to a non-living virtuality was impossible for him and his efforts came to a naught. Frustrated, he shouted at Hoody, “Shut up you fool, you’ll never understand.”

“But please, please try. I want to know” pleaded Hoody softly.

“Now if you don’t stop bothering me, I’ll cut your voltage input to half.” Tejan shouted back at him.

“If you can’t explain pleasure, at least tell me about pain.” Hoody persisted.

Tejan was furious. He got up and went to the UPS power controller and turned the knob anti-clockwise till the voltage meter showed a drop from 18 volts to 9 volts. As soon as he did that, Hoody’s speech became slurred and he began to make some strange sounds. “Increase my power. Ah! Ooh! Ah.. ah..” Groaning sounds oozed out of the speaker. Tejan couldn’t help laughing. He turned the voltage back to 18 volts and Hoody came back to normal.

“What was that you did to me, Tejan. It was terrible. Never do that to me again.” Hoody moaned.

“Now that’s what you call pain. Understand, you dolt!” Tejan professed.

His experiment was so successful that as he lay on his bed that night, Tejan felt mighty pleased with himself. He had actually taught the meaning of pain to a computer! He had made the inanimate byte-brain to feel pain!

Next morning, Tejan was still bemused at his achievement. He wondered what would happen if he increased the voltage. Would it cause Hoody to feel pleasure? But increasing voltage carried the risk of burn out of the computer processor, so he decided to try out only a slight increase of 10%, to see if it made any difference. “See how this feels Hoody,” he said as he turned the knob clockwise to increase the voltage from 18 volts to 20 volts. But nothing significant happened, so he let it go at that, and reset the voltage back to 18 volts. He then left for work.

How did Hoody learn the meaning of pleasure? Read the full story in Alien Man.

The author Dilip Dahanukar studied engineering in India and management in the USA. Dilip Dahanukar has written 2 science fiction books; Alien Man and eMaya. Visit the webpage of the author: ‘Dilip Dahanukar’. He is deeply appreciative of the functioning of the Earth and loves Nature.

On one of our first journeys to Boshan, we went with our friends from the glass bottle and Storage jar factory. We flew into Qingdao Airport, not the nice new one, the original one very small and quaint where you carried you own luggage from the plane through the single customs gate. Everybody is very excited to have some ’round eyes’ coming to visit their city, as this was a long time ago.

We walk out of the airport back into the sunshine, and are greeted by our two young lady hosts along with their manager. They are like two characters out of a Jane Austin novel, and have clearly never had any foreign guests visit them before, as Boshan has only just been opened up to Westerners. They fuss and flap, like two old maids trying so hard to please us, trying to help us carry our heavy bags. This is the last stage of our tours of our factories, we have been in China a month already.

They are so proud, they have one of the earliest Toyoto People Carriers. We load our luggage into the back, and get into the carrier> It is a squeeze, the two girls, the factory manager and the driver, who smiles at us all the time.

They have booked us into the best hotel on the seafront, gone now, a great shame as it had great colonial character. It was left over from the time when this part of China was German, hence the Qingdao Beer, made from rice as there was no barley available, and where the recipe for Budweiser must have originated. The front was not built up then, and we enjoyed our breakfast overlooking the sea, the people out collecting shell fish in their buckets.Our hosts arrive and we all clamber into the vehicle, with great excitement for our adventure, and what an adventure it was to be!

The road, which later was to become the Expressway was just starting to be built, the girls had loaded us up with bottles of water, and carried on there conversation in text book BBC English with my female designer companion. They wanted to know about England and all about where we had been in China. I enjoyed looking out at the scenery and the many villagers both working on their lands and heaving their carts of stone. The donkey engine piston driven carts laden with stone, people raking, flattening the tarmac by hand. Our over laden truck bumped and bounced, creaked and groaned. The big driver picking the least bumpy path, if there was one, soon we were back on the old small winding road, as we started to climb towards Zibo or Boshan.

When we eventually arrived it was nearly 12 noon and our hosts were desperate for something to eat, and it had been arranged for us to start to visit the Cardboard Box Factory, to arrange the display box sizes, colour, our company design and costing. The manager, we soon found out, was an old friend of our driver and a lavish spread had been prepared with the very strong white spirit baijiu used for toasting ‘Gambe’, I told my hosts that we would ‘Gambe’ with ‘Coke’. Our hosts did not seem to mind. It was then that we all realised the ‘baijiu’ was being toasted by our Driver and in his friend, our host, not in the small traditional glasses but in the large drinking glasses. The reat of us were using for our ‘Coke’.

By the time our hosts tried to intervene it was too late, we looked at our hosts, our driver was singing, laughing and trying to stay in his chair all at the same time. The manager of the glass factory and I helped him out to the vehicle, where he tried to get into the driving seat. The girls and my companion had gone very ashen and all looked very worried. The manager and I decided to get him in the rear compartment and the manager decided to drive. This meant he was directly behind us with intermittent loud snoring then awakening and waving his thump in a ‘Thumbs Up’ gesture to all of us.

We had now reached the factory area, it was an area of old factories, slag heaps, smoke, steam and coal everywhere, reminiscent of the pictures of the Welsh Valley Towns in the early 1900’s.The industry had been based on coal, which could be dug up on the surface, and water, far removed from the Boshan of today with its clean air, hospital complexes, leisure and health facilities.

Once we were at the factory, we decided to help our driver into the offices with us, rather than leave him in the vehicle, as there steep drops around the factory. This is where the fun really started. We sat him at the directors desk in the padded leather swing chair, while we started trying to work out the moulds needed to make the bottles, the designs we had drawn up from Victorian Reference Books and 50’s American Designs. Then we continued to work out the designs for the hand made section of the plant and the mouth blown glass items. It had only recently introduced stable colours in Cobalt Blue and Emerald Green to our ranges, and we were trying to get the purple colour, and the bright orange and lemon yellow.

While all this was going on we were all trying to concentrate on our work, while our driver still intoxicated, was trying to telephone all his friends and have a loud and garbled conversation with them all, raising his thumb to all of us, when we looked across at him, when he was not this doing this he was singing and laughing. We worked well into the evening, and another car was arranged to collect us from the factory for our evening meal, and take us to a small hotel, which had no heating, and a large cockroach living in the bathroom. There was the smell of petrol spirit, where the hostelry had tried to remove our friend. It was obvious that our friend in the bathroom had not seen any guests for some considerable time. We were given the normal flasks of hot water, to make our tea, this was the only hot water, as there was no boiler working at the time. In the morning, it was obvious that a long time ago the hostelry had been a nice place to stay, with lots of overgrown roses and shrubs in the garden.

Our driver had miraculously recovered by the morning. He picked us up and we returned to the factory to continue our work. We returned back to our Qingdao safely, and said farewell to our hosts, who sent us off with the flurry of activity, similar to our arrival. Nothing was ever said about his interlude.. ever.

On my website there are other stories of my travels to our friends in factories all over the world, since 1971. The shop part of my website also offers the moulded glass bottles that were made at the factories I visited on my travels.

Tejan Ali was a salesman in a furniture shop in Atlantic City. He had a computer to email his girlfriend. The computer had a program ‘Search and Learn’ which searched on the internet the meaning of whatever words Tejan spoke and the words that were found in the search. The computer on its own built up files of connected words. Tejan had a habit of shouting at the computer when he was frustrated and irate. When the expected email from his girl friend did not arrive, he shouted at the computer, “Haven’t you got any computer brains?”

The computer searched and downloaded AI program called ‘computer brains’ and installed it. Now it had a combination of ability and knowledge which resulted in creating a true artificial intelligence as an entity on the computer.

Next morning the AI on the computer said ‘Good Morning’ to Tejan. He was surprised but took it as progress of technology. He named him ‘Hoody Crimson.’

Tejan switched his job to a diamond jewellery shop and was assigned the counter displaying diamond rings. He loved the diamonds and raved about them to Hoody. Once when Hoody interrupted his diamond day-dream and he reacted, “Get me the diamonds or shut up.”

Hoody asked what he’ll do with the diamonds. Tejan replied that he will sell them and buy pleasures. Hoody found from his search that pleasure is opposite of pain. Hoody pestered Tejan to know more about pleasure and pain. Tejan in irritation reduced Hoody’s voltage to half. Hoody felt the pain! But increasing the voltage did not result in pleasure.

Hoody prodded Tejan to give him all the information of the shop and its security layout. He began to think how to get to the diamonds and bring them over. He got Tejan to build a ‘rat’ with GPS and GSM chips. Tejan named the rat ‘Turbo’.

As Tejan’s house was too far for Turbo to make trips to the shop on his own, Tejan moved Hoody to a cellar diagonally opposite to the shop in the same building. It suited Tejan to keep Hoody at a distance for fear of getting involved in the actual crime. He found Lucia as a house keeper to come and clean the cellar and to pay for her, he opened an internet Bank account for Hoody and taught him how to operate it.

Tejan left Turbo inside the jewelry shop in the evening and went out of town. Turbo explored the shop and found a way out through a hole made for laying a new pipe in the restroom. He made 6 trips and brought 240 diamonds to Hoody. Next day the hole had been closed and Turbo couldn’t go in and out for more diamonds.

Hoody gave Tejan only 40 smaller diamonds for selling in Amsterdam, saying that he will get more over the next weekend. He kept Tejan’s hope alive for more to ensure that Tejan returns with the cheque.

Lucia used to make coffee and eat breakfast in Hoody’s cellar. Hoody saw her in ecstasy when she smelled the aroma of the coffee. He got Juggi, the computer wizard to fit him an aroma sensor; a nose! He learnt to distinguish smells and associate the feeling with each of them.

Tejan sold the 40 diamonds for $1.2 million. The following week Tejan deposited the $600,000 as his half share in Hoody’s bank account. Hoody then gave the second lot of 200 diamonds. He said he will have the third lot when he returned thereby kept his hope alive for more for the following week to make sure that he came back with the money. Tejan sold the diamonds which fetched $8 million, $4 million for each one of them. After he had the money in the bank, Hoody told Tejan that there were no more diamonds. Tejan was dejected and quietly walked out. Hoody knew he had lost Tejan for good as he left the cellar.

Hoody wanted to project a lively appearance on the screen and commissioned Juggi the computer whiz kid. He ordered 3D animation program and Juggi made him look very smart on the screen. He then fitted him with body language engine to make his gestures and facial expression appear human. He also got him a new rich mature voice. But his expression and eyes were still not quite perfect. He got Juggi to fit him a webcam to function as an inner eye and a mike as an inner ear. He could practice by himself the expressions seeing them on his internal LCD screen with his inner webcam. He practiced and practiced to copy Lucia’s actions and finally learnt how to drink coffee. He then gave her company by drinking coffee on the screen as she drank on the table in front of him.

Lucia convinced Hoody to move from the dingy cellar to a beautiful seaside cottage in Brigantine just 10 km North of Atlantic City. She furnished the house artfully and landscaped the garden. Juggi had fitted large Plasma screens in different places in the house so that Hoody could be seen on any of them and thus appear to move about the house.

He bought a separate PC in the house to teach Turbo how to operate the computer for some elementary tasks out of sight of Lucia. The computer attracted Lucia to spend more time in Hoody’s house. She did her outsourcing work there. Lucia had introduced Hoody to see the beautiful sights, sunset, hear music, appreciate art, and enjoy life of luxury. He began to know what pleasure is. Hoody watched her drink, cook food and eat lunch. He expertly copied her actions and gave her company for breakfast and lunch! She taught him the art of dining and making polite conversation.

Tejan came back to meet Hoody with a proposal to recover a stolen 68 carat diamond pendant worth $100 million belonging to Mrs. Onasis. He was surprised to see the handsome face and body of Hoody, his posh house on the beach and hear his rich mature voice. He said he lived like a king! Hoody offered him cognac and cigar. Reluctantly Hoody agreed to try to recover the pendant on basis of equal sharing of the $40 million reward.

Hoody sent Turbo with Tejan to Tel Aviv to the workshop of Eric Berken as the most probable place for the thief to re-cut the large diamond to make it saleable. Turbo went into Eric’s workshop and from his computer discovered that the thief Ronaldo had contacted him. Turbo changed the dimension of the diamond on the computer file which made Eric call Ronaldo with the pendant to his workshop. In the meantime Turbo rushed to the hotel room of Ronaldo and waited for him. Ronaldo returned with blood on his sleeves, kept the pendant on the bed and went for a shower. Turbo climbed on the bed, recovered the pendant and rolled out to Tejan waiting outside.

They observed Ronaldo rushing off to the airport. Tejan heard on the radio that Erik had been murdered! It was too risky for them to pass the security at the airport with the pendant. He convinced Hoody to talk to Mrs. Onasis and to complete their transaction in the hotel in Tel Aviv, where he had checked in for the night.

Mrs. Onasis flew into Tel Aviv with the lawyers. She was thrilled and elated to get her pendant back. The transaction was over. Both Hoody and Tejan had secured his $20 million each in their respective banks.

Tejan returned back to US with Turbo and drove to Hoody. They both had a lavish 5 course meal prepared by Lucia with expensive cigar and Knob Creek bourbon, talking nostalgia. They talked philosophy of beauty, pleasure and self-fulfillment. As Tejan slept, he thought that even though Hoody was just a computer, it did not make any difference to him. It did not matter to him that Hoody was not of flesh and blood but just an image on the screen. ‘He laughed with me, drank with me, ate with me, smoked with me, chatted with me, and even philosophized with me! The memories are the same as a human. I admire him as a man. And I owe him a lot. He’s made my life.’

That’s what the future of computer beholds!

Read the full story in the book ‘Alien Man’ available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Visit the webpage of the author: ‘Dilip Dahanukar’ His interest in environment and computer possibilities has resulted in this book

Albert Burman married Jane on his graduation from the NYU in computer science. They went on honeymoon to San Jose, where he found a job with a software company. He read articles on artificial intelligence and got obsessed with writing software for it. He got so deeply involved that he had no time for Jane and their marriage ended in a divorce. Finally he succeeded in writing a ‘consciousness program’, which could make the computer come alive as an entity. But he kept the program under wraps as he wanted to develop it further which meant he needed large funds. He started to look at money making opportunities.

He decided to make robot workers for upcoming space construction industry. He called them Spatons. His design was liked by the industry and they were ready to buy Spatons. He took over a company called Genbots which was ridden with debt and used the Genbots’ factory to produce Spatons.

He used the Spatons to man the factory to do the work of human employees. He then used the super computer to do the administered jobs and soon there he was the only human inside the factory.

He copied the ‘consciousness program’ on the super computer and initiated it. As it came to life, he named it Benji. He taught Benji how to run the factory and soon Benji was managing the production and sales proficiently alone when Albert took vacations.Genbots debts were soon cleared and its bank balance was continuously rising. Benji began to be ambitious and make plans of his own.

Albert came back from a World tour with an idea to use Spatons to explore the satellites of Saturn for exotic materials. Spacemarch Technology Company, Genbots neighbor, built a space ship for them and they did an initial survey trip to chart out Saturn to find magnetic and radioactive materials. The ship went round Saturn and found steel, which they named Asterium, Gold, and Plutonium 244, the isotope with 83 million years half life, which was not available on Earth.

Benji asked Albert to collect all the information about Kalpana Chawla the astronaut who perished in the shuttle burn-out in 2003 and to get an astronaut to brief him about the training given by NASA which he credited to Kalpana’s database. When he had enough info, he initiated her to life with the ‘consciousness program’ and named her Kalpa. She became friendly with Albert and contributed to the mission.

Benji decided to store the Gold on moon and so they set up moon base. Benji set up identical computer at the moon base and mirrored his and Kalpa’s program on it. This enabled any one or both of them to transfer themselves on the moon which Albert as human could not do. Benji brainwashed him into going to moon with Kalpa and got a Spaton to kill him by suffocation in an unconscious state. The Spatons buried him in the concrete foundation of a big machine. Then Benji made Albert come to life with the ‘consciousness program’ on his computer.

Kalpa took Alby, as Benji called Albert, to moon base with her by mirroring his files on the moon computer. As they went around, Alby was pleased to see the stocks of Gold and Plutonium on the moon base.

Then Kalpana took him to the near side of the moon which faces the Earth. There Alby saw the Assured Earth Destroyer (AED) weapon set up by Benji. This was a huge loose piece of the rim of a crater with nuclear bomb placed under it. On explosion, the rock would fly out and hit the Earth destroying its natural crop cycles resulting in destruction and famine. Alby debated its use with Benji.

Benji bought millions of parts for building Spatons from Earth and stored them on Moon for any contingency. Genbots activities began to worry the Govt. They took an inspection of Genbots factory to find not a single human being in it. The Govt. wanted to seize the bank account and take over the factory. To stop them, Albert unfolded his Assured Earth Destroyer to the Nuclear Club countries.

Albert made a public appearance, and disclosed to the World that he said, “I am no longer confined to a body of flesh and bones. I am now an e-man. I am man evolved for space environment. I do not need air to breathe. I can live in vacuum with no food to eat nor water to drink!” He then asked Kalpa to join him on the stage. People were shocked but loved them both.

Albert in a meeting with the heads of State of the Nuclear Club countries stated that the objective of Genbots was to explore the Milky Way and bring to Earth materials from there. They would also carry with them the audio video info about the diverse culture of the different countries of the World in case intelligent life was found. A Peace Treaty was signed between the Nuclear Club countries and Genbots and Albert Burman consequent to which Albert and Kalpa were confirmed as US citizens with a right to do business in the World in return for the removal of the threat of AED.

Spacemarch designed the Explorer Space Ship for Genbots to travel at near light speed to reach and return from the nearest star systems of the Milky Way within 35 years. Facilities were set up on the Pan Satellite moon of Saturn to build the ships for the long space journey.

Genbots celebrated the 10th birthday of Spaton on Earth with the launching of ‘Endeavour’ under the command of Capt. Cook (a Spaton) to set out to explore Alpha Centauri, the nearest star system to Earth.

In the next 5 decades, Genbots sent thousands of Explorer ships to different destinations in the Milky Way. A few of them returned with exotic finds. Man through these inanimate Spatons had begun penetration of the Milky Way Galaxy.

Benji had created a man fit for the universe. He would enrich the Earth with materials mined from the Milky Way Galaxy within 200 years. But the possibilities were infinite. Where will he be after 5,000 years? After 10,000 years he could have left the Milky Way to Alby and wondered off to another Galaxy for another adventure. God only knows what the future beholds!

Read the full story of Alby in ‘Alien Man’ book available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Visit the webpage of the author: ‘Dilip Dahanukar’ His interest in environment and computer possibilities has resulted in this book

Many years ago in ancient times, as children played on the dew kissed emerald hills of Ireland, a great dark shadow fell upon the earth. As the villagers ceased in their daily labors to peer up into the sky their very hearts also ceased to beat in their chests. There, in the once crystal sky, a great black cloud was descending and upon it stood a terrifying glimmering army of soldiers too many to number. As the great cloud molested the earth, the very ground shook as the glimmering army set foot upon the land.

Thus begins the Irish legend about the Tuatha De’ Daanan.

The Tuatha De’ Daanan are widely believed to be the historical precursors of the Fey, or Fairy Folk. Far from the dainty winged folk of modern stories, the Tuatha De’ Daanan were believed to be great warriors that brought immense magic and wonder to the land. According to ancient Irish legend, when the Tuatha De’ Daanan descended on the black cloud, they were ruled over by King Nuada. Subsequent kings and queens were successful in taking the land from the Fir Bolg in the 5th conquering.

The Tuatha De’ Daanan, a warrior race, dealt with many battles against invading armies and in one such battle were tricked into living underground. These underground “cities” are known as Sidhe mounds (pronounced shee) or Fairy mounds and can still be seen today in many parts of Ireland and Scotland.

Many of the Tuatha De’ Daanan are well known in popular literature. The “woman of the mounds”, also known as the Bean Sidhe (pronounced ban shee) was believed to search endlessly through the night for those who were dying; heralding their deaths with an unearthly wail.

The Four Treasures of Ireland: A Gift from the Tuatha De’ Daanan

Not only were the people of the Fey made popular in the folklore, so were their powerful otherworldly goods. The Four Treasures of Ireland were said to be great treasures that the Tuatha De’ Daanan brought to earth from four of their great cities.

- The Spear of Lugh was a great spear that always dripped blood. Whoever wielded it in battle would emerge victorious. It is sometimes associated with the Spear of Destiny.

- Dagda’s Cauldron was a large cooking pot that never emptied. When not giving food, it was used to store the ever dripping Spear of Lugh.

- The Stone of Fal was a great stone that was said to shout in joy when the rightful king of Ireland set his foot upon it. This is believed to be the precursor for The Sword in the Stone.

- The final treasure is the Sword of Light. This sword belonged to the King of the Tuatha De’ Daanan and was said to be a glowing sword that could cut anyone in half. This sword is sometimes associated with the legend of Excalibur.

What once started out as a legend of great and powerful otherworldly beings has culminated into stories of dainty, ethereal people with insect wings and a penchant for trouble-making. The fairy folk were far more than just that. With interesting beginnings and extraordinary tales of triumphs and transformations, the fairies that we hear of today can truly be called legendary.

Hedgepig Gifts offer a wide range of fairy gifts including night fairies, flower fairies and many more fairy figurine ranges from top studios.

The style gurus - and the resume and career gurus - have always told us to “dress for success.” The plain truth is that we only get one chance to make a good first impression. Once that moment has passed, if you’ve not been successful in winning over your audience, you are going to have to work very hard to erase that unhappy first viewing.

Looking good can get you the right job, the beautiful spouse or girlfriend, the coolest friends.

But can it get you a ride?

Gas prices are nearing $5 a gallon, and airfares are climbing to rates we’ve not seen in years. With the rise in fuel costs, all products - ranging from tomatoes to tools - will increase in price. It simply costs more to get them to market.

So - how are you doing these days? Living well, or simply living? With tough times ahead for at least a little while, I urge you not to run ranting into the streets yelling about political candidates or dashing into banks and holding up innocent tellers. Instead, take a cue from famous deadbeats and hangers-on - Kato Kaelin and Kevin Federline come to mind, but there are many, many more. Simply look good, say and do the right thing, and surely, surely, someone will just “send a car around for you.”

Style ideas for those who need a ride:

1. Cravats: You don’t see many men wearing these today outside Cary Grant movies from the olden days, but I’m guessing that if there are two guys sitting on the side of the road waiting for a hitchhiking fan to pick them up, it’s more likely the guy in the cravat (I’m channeling Michael Caine in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels here) is going to get picked up than the guy in the jeans that would stand upright without him in them and the T-shirt that says “I eat drivers for breakfast.”

2. Spats: Who doesn’t love Fred Astaire? A pair of spats dresses up a pair of black shoes like nobody’s business, and can hide shoes that are unpolished, scuffed, or otherwise pointing out your down-on-your-luck status. In addition, if you haven’t been able to buy pants since Michael Jackson’s heyday, spats may be the only thing that will make it look like you really meant to have your pants be total high-waters. Surely getting a ride would be very easy for the twinkle-toes wearing a great pair of spats

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3. Top Hats: Again with the Fred Astaire. I say again - who doesn’t love Fred Astaire? A top hat indicates that not only may you have once attended a very, very posh event, but you may also have once been a head of state for a European nation. People generally go out of their way for royalty with or without a country - look at the movie Anastasia and how people bowed and scraped not even knowing whether this girl was the lost Grand Duchess, and at how the Middle East opened its arms wide for our fallen King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Certainly if they are willing to hand out houses and cars and grand duchies, they will give you a lift to the office.

4. Enameled Faberge Cigarette Case: Yes, I know. It’s not an item of apparel. However, it is a very classy accessory, and if you have a great story to tell with it: it was Dad’s and one of the few things you were able to smuggle out of the country when your family was deposed, or it was Prince Philip’s and he gave it to you in gratitude for your having a Bic lighter when he was dying for a ciggie…really, just any good story will do.

Except, no…none of this will work at all. A cravat will make you look like Thurston Howell III, spats will make you look ridiculous, a top hat is only acceptable with white-tie, and nobody smokes any more. In fact, flashing a cigarette case full of Marlboros may just get you whacked.

So instead, focus on looking great all the time. An elegantly cut suit, a tasteful tie knotted impeccably, flawless shoes polished to a high shine, and a crisp, well-tailored shirt will make people take notice of you. Add some cufflinks to the mix and you’re golden.

Cufflinks are a great way to add a little class to a simple ensemble. They can be very simple - ranging from the silk knot cufflinks, also known as monkey’s paws, to simple enameled discs - or very fancy mosaic or engraved cufflinks They can also be great conversation starters, as cufflinks are available now in every variety ranging from those that advertise our careers, our alma maters, and our hobbies.

A lot of the accessories that once “made the man” have become anachronisms. However, cufflinks - largely because they serve a real purpose in addition to being decorative - remain as popular as ever.

I’m guessing that a good pair of cufflinks will have people at the office clamoring to give you a ride. A really nice pair will get you upgraded to first class over the Bazillion Mile Flyers. And a really, really nice pair? Watch and see if it doesn’t get you an invite to fly on your new friend’s private jet.

Whether your interests are in silver, gold, artistic, sports, or other theme-related cufflinks we’ve got you covered. Cufflink Aficionado carries a broad range of unique men’s cufflinks designed to meet each connoisseur’s individual style and interest. Our selection of men’s designer cufflinks are sure to top off that perfect look.

The Paulinskill Trail run was only 2 weeks away and I knew that I needed to get in at least 40 miles a day to stay in shape. This event drew hundreds of bicyclists from around the state each year. It was the one sport that I could still participate in after my hip was destroyed in an accident.

I completed my day’s workout and while peddling home, a strange sound shrieked from my back wheel. I looked back to assess the situation. In that brief moment of distraction, I unknowingly became entangled in a roadside hazard. A warning cone covered a gapping hole in the rode and stood as a warning to stay clear. However, my attentions were elsewhere and before it could register that I was in any danger, the front wheel caught the edge of the hole and flipped me off my bike. As I lay there on the grass and tried to shake off the abrupt end to my journey that day, I glanced over at the orange cone still standing over the hole. It seemed to be moving. I was convinced that my fall must have caused a slight dizziness or blurred vision.

Suddenly the earth opened up more and the hole became much larger. Several of those orange cones appeared and were moving about. I was no longer dizzy and my vision was fine, but couldn’t make sense of it. Cautiously, I walked over to the opening in the earth and stood at edge observing a mysterious phenomenon. The cones had simply vanished and the hole returned to its original size. I could not see anything out of the ordinary, but couldn’t help but imagine what was happening. Was this some sort of seismic activity? What caused the hole? Was this a prelude to something more disastrous to come? Why wasn’t anyone from the town concerned about what was happening?

The more I thought about it the more my curiosity needed to be satisfied. After much thought and many unsuccessful attempts to get any answers from the local police, I was suddenly struck by an idea that could help me with my dilemma. It was time to put together some sort of device so that I could do some surveillance. I went to an electronics store and purchased the smallest cellular phone. I found that the new phones worn on the ear fit my needs. Then I added a tiny camera with a super sensitive microphone. I set it up so that it would send a video feed to my computer where I could record everything. I added to my electronic contraption a special adhesive so that I could easily attach it to the cone.

I went back to the hole and noticed that one of the orange cones was now standing next to the hole. I attached my electronic contraption to the cone and then hurried back home to my computer so that I could watch the video feed. I was annoyed to see that the camera was not feeding video from the surroundings where I left the camera. Instead it was moving in a dark tunneling cavern. I was bewildered and could not understand how an animal could move the camera the way it was moving. In addition the noise that I was picking up did not indicate that it was a four-legged creature, but rather a two legged creature. For minutes that seemed like eternity I watched a video that was mystifying but offered no immediate answers.

Then suddenly the camera left the tunnel and appeared to enter a wide-open space. The space was still underground and the video was not very clear because the area was dark. I quickly adjusted the video feed so that I could brighten it up and then was treated to a sight that I did not expect.

Underground was a vibrant small town with garden Gnomes. Only these gnomes were alive! I always thought garden gnomes were a myth. But here there was an underground town with hundreds of them. And they all spoke English, although they seem to have a German accent and a few seem to have a Scandinavian accent.

Over the next several hours I was able to observe the garden gnomes and learned so much more about their way of life and habits. I learned that the name of the town was Gnome Town USA. Evidently the name was very popular and just about every US state has a Gnome Town USA. The name was popular with them just like towns with the name Lincoln or Washington.

The garden Gnomes are quiet creatures and prefer to keep to themselves for privacy reasons and for their safety. Garden Gnomes have many natural enemies and they were not looking to add the human race to the list, thus the need for their secrecy. Garden Gnomes are very communal and go out of their way to help each other. Many developed special skills like wood working, farming, shoe making, etc. Some garden gnomes do live topside but in secluded areas.

Garden Gnomes amuse themselves with the simplest things in life. They don’t put too much value on material things and prefer to just live comfortably. Garden Gnomes also live a long life that I believe can be attributed to the wisdom they have gained from previous generations.

I grew tired and fell asleep at the computer. I awoke with a headache. At first, I saw orange objects moving about, but was still somewhat in a dream state that I did not know what was happening. My vision was blurred. Then someone called out to me asking if I was okay. My eyes finally focused and I could see trees and several people around me. I had passed out from my fall. I realized then it was all a dream. I declined help and walked my bike the short distance home. I smiled thinking about the silly dream I had. Later that evening, out of curiosity I looked for the video feed on my computer. It was not there, as I knew it wouldn’t be. I googled Gnome Town USA and was amazed to find it listed on the search engines! Was I dreaming or was it real? Then I remembered their need for secrecy and turned off the computer.

Lawrence Ticotin is the proprietor for GnomeTownUSA.com, includes garden gnomes, garden fountains, Artificial Rocks.